Friday, January 15, was very cold, but there was only a smidgeon of rain - and the sun came out for a while. Ten Chickens trotted; it could have been 13, but Neil Dickinson, Derek Bath and Ken Gouldsbrough, for quite legitimate reasons, were too late to complete the round in the allotted time, so they didn’t take out cards.

Due to the saturation situation, the course was limited to 13 holes, with numbers seven and 14 being shortened - but nobody cared because it was a great day for a game on the links.

To explain the title of this article, Steve Cole, last week’s clear winner, while playing off a four handicap, realised during his round that this week he was not playing well at all. It seemed that he was doomed to settle for the booby, not such bad news since he would earn 30p as well as gaining two strokes for his next game. Sadly, this plan was foiled by dastardly David Lamb, because while Steve’s final score was 13 points - David scored one less, ‘The best laid plans etc...’

Stan Hudson - as ever - played steadily throughout, but the highlight of his round was a two on the par four seventh hole, yes I know it had been shortened, but Stan gets a shot there and thus scored a superb nett albatross. It is a rare pleasure to make a card entry that reads ‘2 for 1 for 5 points’.

Best of all was a win for the photogenic Alan Watts, who features in this week’s artistic portrait driving off on the second hole. Just like Steve last week, Allen was playing off four, and just like Steve last week, he destroyed the opposition. Next week, Allen will have a reduced handicap of just one, so that ‘Chicken Trotter Fundamental Rule One’ - (thou shalt not win twice on the trot) - will hopefully be observed!

Allen scored 25 points and won £1, second was John Hancock with 24 points and a prize of 60p and third was Mike Fox with a competent 23 points, earning a pitiful 30p. In fourth place - again - was Mel Hicks, who, as I’m sure you will know by now, won nothing, changed his handicap not one jot - but got another mention in this illustrious newspaper.

I’ve already mentioned Stan’s two - the only one of the day - on the seventh, for which he received a miserly 50p, and also David’s booby, so the only remaining statistics to report are the CSS (19 points) and the total number of ‘blobs’ achieved by the 10 Trotters (32).

I am aware that the Trotters are all intelligent and romantic chaps, so I should like to remind them that they can exercise both these desirable characteristics at the Club Quiz Night on January 29 and the Valentine’s Day celebrations in February - both promise to be entertaining evenings.

M.F.