TENNYSON was very clear: ‘In the Spring a young man's fancy lightly turns to thoughts of love’. True or not, I can tell you that ‘in the summer my thoughts turn to marriage’ and for one simple reason: we celebrate our wedding anniversary in July.

Given this, and my role as a pastor, you won’t be surprised to learn that my attention was drawn to an article that claimed that ‘New study links marriage to lower rates of family breakdown’.

As I understand it the report entitled ‘The Timing of Marriage and Union Dissolution’, produced by the Marriage Foundation in partnership with the Centre for Social Justice is based on the doctoral research of Dr Harry Benson at the University of Bristol.

He was quoted as saying that “being married substantially increases the chances that parents stay together, regardless of when marriage occurs, before, during, or after pregnancy, and regardless of socio-economic background.”

Benson is clearly convinced that his findings are extremely significant. “This groundbreaking study’ he continued ‘categorically demonstrates the benefits of marrying and blows apart decades of Government policy that has consistently downgraded marriage to just another form of relationship like cohabitating.”

Now, I’m not a statistician, and I haven’t read the report, but Benson’s conclusions make sense if God wants a man and woman to unite in such a way that the two become ‘one flesh’. Interestingly, the Hebrew word we find in the Book of Genesis implies being ‘stuck together’ like two pieces of wood held together by superglue. This would obviously imply that marriages are meant to be permanent too.

I chose ‘superglue’ because I believe the particular kind of love that can, and should hold a married couple together, is infinitely more adhesive than ‘romantic love’ or ‘sexual attraction’. It’s the love that God has for us and wants us to show to each other even when we don’t feel like doing so. In other words, it’s more of an attitude and not just the product of our feelings and emotions.

This sort of love is characterised by commitment, patience, kindness, gentleness, self-control not to mention a willingness to forgive. We may be tempted to think that we could never love like that, but I have to tell you that I have seen that people do just that when they have asked God to help them. Jesus I’ve discovered, can transform relationships in the same way that He miraculously turned water into wine at a wedding celebration in Cana of Galilee.

‘Marriage as God Intended’ is a gift to be enjoyed but it can prove the foundation of a secure family life for children too. Having said all this though, I can’t finish without saying, “Happy wedding anniversary, Mrs James”.