As children across the UK prepare to return to school this September, child psychologist Dr Selina Warlow is urging parents, educators and local authorities to look deeper at what drives school-related anxiety, refusal, or total avoidance, especially with neurodivergent children.

“School avoidance isn’t about defiance or laziness,” says Dr. Warlow. “For many children, particularly those with undiagnosed or unsupported needs, school becomes an overwhelming environment emotionally, socially, and sensory-wise. If we don’t listen, we risk escalating distress and pushing families to breaking point.”

Multiple studies and reports paint a consistent picture:

Though there are multiple nuanced reasons for the surge in school avoidance, neurodiversity is a key factor. Both children with an official diagnosis and those still waiting to be identified, often experience the same challenges in school environments.

For some, it’s not a case of refusing school, but that the school day feels unmanageable. Loud classrooms, constant social interaction and being drained by masking their difficulties can quickly become overwhelming. Without a diagnosis, these signs of distress can easily be mistaken for defiance or lack of motivation, rather than a need for support.

“We need to shift how we interpret school avoidance,” adds Dr. Selia Warlow. “It’s often a response to ongoing stress or unmet needs, not a lack of willingness. What looks like resistance is often a child doing their best in a situation that doesn’t fit how they process their environment.”

Education consultant and founder of Nurtured Neuro Kids Kate Steer warns that the problem doesn’t just lie with pupils:

“The rise in emotionally based school avoidance is a symptom of a school system under strain, underfunded, understaffed and rigid. Too often teachers are left trying to meet the needs of 30 children with little specialist training or support. Low attendance shouldn’t be seen as an issue with children, but a warning sign that the system itself is struggling.”

Teacher shortages highlight this wider picture: in 2023/24, around 40,000 teachers left the profession i.e. nearly 9 per cent of the workforce. A further third leave within five years of qualifying.

School avoidance doesn’t usually happen overnight. It often begins with smaller signs from constant tiredness and frequent stomach aches/migraines to emotional outbursts at home. These can be early signals that a child is overwhelmed and not coping.

“When we catch these patterns early, we have a better chance of turning things around before a child disengages completely,” Dr. Warlow explains. “It starts with noticing, asking, and listening without judgement.”

When school avoidance is tied to neurodivergence, bringing the child back into the classroom is more complex. Recognising patterns early and putting the right support in place is essential.

Dr. Selina Warlow outlines five practical strategies that education settings can introduce to help reduce pressure. Focusing on clear, targeted strategies helps children with neurodivergent needs re-engage with education at their own pace. The goal is to create the conditions for attendance and not to push them before they’re ready:

School refusal isn’t about avoiding work. It’s often about avoiding emotional or sensory overload. Talk to families early and wherever possible, involve the child in a structured, non-pressured way. What parts of the day feel hardest? When does the anxiety start? Build a clear picture of what the child is finding hard.

Children often show signs of distress well before they stop attending school. Watch for changes in energy, mood, physical symptoms, or emotional regulation. Tracking patterns across the week can help flag issues before they escalate.

For some children, the pace and unpredictability of the school day can be overwhelming. Reduced transitions, calmer starts, and planned breaks can all make a difference.

Many neurodivergent children have intense special interests so explore what they are and how they can be integrated into the school day. Can they share their knowledge in a class, join a club related to their interest, or have dedicated time to pursue it as a motivator? Leaning into their special interests can transform school from a source of dread to a place of connection.

Parents often know what helps and what doesn’t. When education teams work in open, regular contact with families and avoid blame, support tends to be more targeted and effective.

When mainstream schools cannot meet the needs of neurodiverse children, should parents look into what other forms of education might look like? Could home education be a viable alternative?

Expert in homeschooling for neurodiverse children, Kate Steer, says yes:

“Children cannot learn when they are dysregulated or don’t feel safe or understood. That’s why more families are now considering home education as a route that can better meet their child’s needs.”

As a former teacher and now parent who homeschools her neurodivergent child, Kate has seen the difference first-hand. She explains that home education can be interest-led and adapted to support sensory needs throughout the day, creating a more flexible and supportive learning environment.

Options range from online schools and one-to-one tutors to small learning groups, forest schools, or organised education days at zoos, museums and farms.

“For many families, home education isn’t about giving up on school, it’s about finding a model where their child can feel comfortable, understood and able to thrive,” Steer adds.

As the new school year approaches, Dr. Warlow is encouraging educators and families to view attendance not simply as a number to improve, but as a sign of how safe, supported and ready a child feels to engage with learning. When schools and parents work together, many pupils can rebuild trust in education and return in a way that lasts.